A young blonde woman was driving through the Florida Everglades while on vacation. She wanted to take home a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking. After becoming very frustrated with the attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the [...]
Last night, my friend and I were sitting in the living room and I said to her, “I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug.”
She got up, unplugged the TV, and threw out my wine.
She’s such a [...]
A blonde gets home early from shopping and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. She rushes upstairs to find her husband naked on the bed, sweating and panting.
“What’s up?” she asks.
“I’m having a heart attack,” cries the husband.
The blonde rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as she’s dialing, her four-year-old son comes [...]
from the Blonde Cookbook…
It’s fun to cook for Tom. Today I made angel food cake. The recipe said beat 12 eggs separately. The neighbors were nice enough to loan me some extra bowls.
Tom wanted fruit salad for supper. The recipe said serve without dressing. So I didn’t dress. What a surprise when Tom brought a [...]
A distinguished young woman on a flight from Switzerland asked the Priest beside her, “Father, may I ask a favor?”
“Of course. What may I do for you?”
“Well, I bought an expensive woman’s electronic hair dryer for my mother’s birthday that is unopened and well over the Customs limits. I’m afraid they’ll confiscate it. Is there [...]
The directions are clear!
Alice and Frank are Bungee-jumping one day. Alice says to Frank, “You know, we could make a lot of money running our own Bungee-jumping business in Mexico.”
Frank thinks this is a great idea, so they pool their money and buy everything they need: a tower, an elastic cord, insurance, etc.
They travel to Mexico and begin [...]
A good husband always does right by his wife…
A woman was in a coma. She had been in it for months and months. One day one of the nurses was in her room giving her a sponge bath. When she was washing her private area the nurse noticed that there was a slight response on the [...]
